The Stories We Tell Ourselves
We live in a thought created reality …have you ever stopped to think about your thoughts?
Have you ever pondered the fact that your world, and your experience of the world, is entirely created by your own thoughts? It is your thoughts that determine how you feel, and what you experience.
Our thoughts are fundamental in shaping our beliefs, and as we know our beliefs greatly impact how we engage with the world… which is quite incredible when you think about!
You may be asking, what is incredible about this?
Well, if you think about it on a deeper level, everyone is in their own thought created reality, living life and experiencing life from the perspective of their own thoughts. As we’ve all had different experiences in life, it means that we all have our own personalised thought patterns, beliefs and subsequent behaviours … we are basically living in a personalised world of thought and navigating life the best we can through the stories we tell ourselves.
Now these stories can sometimes be light, fun, adventurous and expansive, and sometimes they can be the opposite; they can be dark, negative, limiting and destructive …but the reality is, they are all a figment of your own imagination, a story you are telling yourself. They are nothing more than thought!
Have you ever found yourself saying internally or externally;
“I’m not good enough”
“I’m so stupid”
“they don’t like me”
“I bet they are talking about me right now”
“I’m not any good at doing this (or that)”
“I don’t like this (or that)”
“I’m useless”
“I’m not a good parent”
“I should just give up”
All of these self-limiting statements are simply the spoken word of the thought you are thinking, it does not mean that they are true. In fact, I’ll go one step further to say, they absolutely aren’t true! They are just thoughts, manifesting themselves into words. When you continue to say these statements out of habit, you create a deeper self-limiting belief through the process of ongoing affirmation.
Now here is the crazy part, our brains have a function called confirmation bias, which means that whatever we think and say often enough, we believe! Our confirmation bias function in the brains then looks for opportunities to confirm this belief to be true! We basically create situations, experiences and stories to reaffirm the limiting belief that we hold … and the loop starts over!
Who is familiar with this loop?
Are you sick and tired of being in this loop??
I was in this loop for years, creating a world of anxiety, stress, overwhelm and illness. I was admitted into hospital several times in the space of 3 years as I was working hard, playing hard, and thinking harder!!! Admitted with critical a-typical pneumonia, I experienced skin outbreaks, the loss of hair in my beard and abnormal growths (which required three antibiotic drips to reduce!). I was literally changing my biology (for the worst) because of the thoughts I was thinking and the stories I was telling myself.
My thinking was so out of control that I was living in a world of stories …I was paranoid, and I found solace in alcohol and drugs.
Now your vice may not be alcohol or drugs, or maybe it is, or maybe it’s chocolate, sugar, scrolling Facebook or Instagram, or binge-watching Netflix … I’ve been prone to anaesthetising myself on all of the above. Whatever it is, the reason for this is that it helps stop the thinking and the stories for a few minutes. It provides peace of mind.
You are note alone. These thought patterns and stories are more common than you think. In fact, based on my own journey and my experience of supporting others, I would say that it is now considered the norm …
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way!
You can break these patterns and you can create new stories.
You may be asking, “how do I do it then?”
By introducing daily rituals and practices that help you to observe your thoughts, and that help you to break free from the habitual patterns of thought, statements and behaviours you find yourself in.
STOP what you are doing right now and do this exercise with me …
Close your eyes (well, read the next few lines first) …
Become aware of your breath, the in-breath and the out-breath …
Then repeat after me, over-and over:
“I wonder what thought I will think next?”
“I wonder what thought I will think next?”
“I wonder what though I will think next?”
Continue to repeat this over and over for a few minutes and notice what you notice.
What impact does it have on you?
What happens to the thoughts and the stories?
This is one exercise of many, and one of my favourites as it breaks the thought pattern by asking a thinking question! It helps us to become the observer of our thoughts and prevents us from becoming entangled in our thoughts, or even worse, believing that we are our thoughts!!!
As the great Buddha said:
“What we think, we become”
Choose the good thoughts and let go of the others, over time you will begin to set yourself free.
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Have a great day and be sure to make some time to bring awareness to your thoughts!
Best wishes and much love,
Alister x
